Just Pucking Perfect

sad update

2010-07-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

Hello Readers,

I hope you enjoyed reading Puck's posts. He was a very happy dog who brought me much joy. He passed away this January. I like to think of him floating on a fluffy white cloud in doggy-heaven, eating nothing but cookies and getting belly rubs from the angels.

I miss you, my buddy.

Love,
Mommy

new jobs

2007-06-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

My mom got a job volunteering with First Coast No More Homeless Pets. I'm excited because it gets her out of the house for a bit so I can lick my manly parts in peace. Also, she won't be working directly with animals, so there is no reason to worry she'll bring another dog - ultimately inferior to me - to my happy home.

FCNMHP works with low income families to find them spay and neuter options. They have a host of programs ranging from free to low cost. They also have a feral cat program - did you know Zoey was a feral cat when Mommy adopted her? You'd never know it now. When no one else is around, Zoey is a total snugglebutt (Mommy's word, not mine.). She can't keep her paws off me!!

I'm happy Mommy is giving back to the community.
I'm glad that other peoples' dogs and cats will benefit.
I'm glad they will stay with other people!!!

WOOF!

huh

2007-05-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stopped to think about how much time you spend in one place?

I spend a lot of time in my house. I go on ten minute walks twice a day (three if I'm lucky) so I'm inside the house about 23 hours and 40 minutes each day.

My world is small.

(my life isn't)

WOOF

Saturday...In the Park...I Wish it was the Fourth of July!

2007-04-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Cousin Gingy came to stay with my today. We had fun playing in the house. We play this game call "Guess the scent". It is so, so fun. First, I sniff her butt. Then I try to guess the scent until I get it right. Then she sniffs my butt. I almost always win. Ginger doesn't have my experience.

Mommy went downtown with Auntie Janine. They looked at different hospitals where Auntie Janine might possibly work. Then they got Starbucks and walked around Riverside. Mommy liked it, and part of her wishes she lived out there. But could she really leave the beach? She'd have to find a new hairstylist and a new groomer for me. What a pain that would be!!

Oh, and the 45 minute commute to work might suck, too.

Well, she's back home now with Auntie Nini and we're just chilling out. Zoey wants to get online...she needs to check her myspace.

WOOF!

Let's Just Be Friends

2007-04-19T07:49:00.001-07:00

Oh, and I had nothing to worry about with that boy. Stupid boy.

cheater

2007-04-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Mommy has started her own blog! Read it!!

In other news...my life has been very exciting lately! I have been licking myself, and scratching myself, and biting myself. WOW!! I have never felt so fulfilled before.

seven weeks and counting

2007-04-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

Poor Mommy, she is under a lot of stress lately. Work is really beginning to wear her down. The end of the year is always a mad dash to the finish - awards ceremonies, five spring sports, fieldtrips, not to mention all the extra stuff piled on by administrators, parents being grumps - oh yeah and the whole TEACHING that is supposed to go on for the next seven weeks. Yuck, I wouldn't want that job.

And as far as fieldtrips go, Mommy is done. The sad thing is that the adults are the ones who ruin it - complaining about things that no one can help!! Not being polite or even grateful!! Trying to get money back because their kid had a bad time!! Grr...who knew adults could act so much like children? Way to set the example, losers.

But, the weekend is looking up for Mommy - beach volleyball and a relaxing Saturday. Hopefully the weather will clear up for some nice beach time.

We'll see.

Mommy had a boy come by and pick her up the other night. I sniffed his shoes. No judgment yet, but I am on alert.

WOOF!

we don't have cable

2007-04-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Zoey, let's stare at the wall.......

This is what happens when you don't want to pay $90 a month for entertainment. You make your own. Or rather, your mother decides it would be fun to take interesting photos of you laying on the floor.

Actually, she took this shot after our distastrous two mile walk, during which I busted open my paw and had to get stitches. Yeah, it was awesome.

Animal cruelty, anyone?

I'm done looking at the wall. What should we do now? Lick ourselves?

hrmph

2007-04-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

The perfect Friday night with Mommy means:

1. Publix sushi
2. Steve Martin movies
3. Low-fat ice cream in large quantities
4. No cell phone
5. Laughing out loud by herself

and not thinking about certain loser guys who do not call you back, or send you a courtesy I'm not interested email, or just seem to have bad manners, or anything of the above things.

2007...bad start, badass improvements

2007-03-30T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well, my mommy has had an interesting year, thus far. I mean, okay, so maybe it didn't start out to great. I know that people talk about ringing in the New Years and having a super-crazy-monster-blowout (I heard that talk through the window from our annoying frat boy neighbors). I know that sometimes people want that perfect New Years kiss. I know that some assholes like to set off fireworks starting at 8 pm and ending at 3 am.

But Mommy...well, she feel asleep around 11 that night and when the fireworks woke her up, she couldn't figure out why people were setting them off. Now, I hate fireworks. Hence the asshole comment earlier. I mean, honestly, I don't know what they are or how they work but the noise just sends shivers down my spine - which is already ridden with arth-freaking-rightis. So, when they unnecessary noise began around 11:30, Mommy crawled on the floor to cuddle with me. She said, "It's ok baby, just some local idiots...setting off fireworks on a Monday night...hey, it's Monday night! Why are they setting off fireworks?? What the fuck?!!"

Then, through the window we hear:

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"

"2007 FUCK YEAH!!"

"WOOHOO!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"

"UM, I THINK I'M GOING TO PUKE."

So, then Mommy look at me and says, "Oh."

I immediately start to worry. I have seen that look on her face before. That, look that says that all her mind is thinking is "don't cry, don't cry, this is not something to cry about, don't cry." But, as quickly as the sound of someone retching in the bushes came floating through the glass, the look disappeared from my Mommy's beautiful face.

And she started laughing.

Hysterically.

If you thought I was worried before - that was nothing compared to this. This is it, I thought, my emotionally charged hormonal and also quite sexy master has flipped her freaking lid!

But, it turns out, I had no need to worry. Quickly, Mommy grabbed the phone and called Auntie Hilary. "Can you believe I forgot it was New Years?" she cackled. "Holy shit! I really have no life!" She continued to laugh, but not in the "and now I am going to enjoy hacking you to bits" kind of way, but more in the "oh what the hell, I give up" kind of way.

(Just like the time Mommy's family abandoned her on Christmas Eve and locked her out of the house while she was taking me on a poop run. But that's another blog.)

So, that was our start to 2007. Ok, a bit pathetic, but we've rebounded nicely. Maybe a crazy teenage-esqe boy moment or two, but overall, Mommy is ten times happier than she was at this time last year. She has decided to work hard at finding comedy in everything that could otherwise make her sad. She has awesome friends - some in town, nonetheless, hobbies (she signed up for beach volleyball, I hope she added extra coverage on her health insurace), and work is ten times better now that a certain ex-uncle of mine has left for good (ptfo, you jerk). Also, this guy from her book club took her out twice. She doesn't come home smelling like him, which is good for me but maybe not so good for Mommy. She seems pleased though, and told me, "Only patience brings the worthwhile rain to the Sahara" whatever that means.

After moving to Jacksonville almost three years ago, Mommy finally feels like she is home. I dig it!

WOOF!

Picture

2007-03-08T17:35:00.000-08:00

This is me and Mommy...

This is Zoey on Christmas

This is ME on Christmas

We are a happy bunch! WOOF!

grrrrrr...grrross!

2007-03-08T17:10:00.000-08:00

Oh, man. Mommy is sick. Sick with the flu sick. Sick like a dog sick. Sick. And it is gross!

All night long, with the coughing and the hacking and the sneezing and snooting. Hack hack hack - cough cough cough - she sounds like Mikhail Gorbachev! Ok, maybe not, but I could not resist making that rhyme.

It is kind of sad, in a way. I mean...she just looks at me and says, "Soup? Chicken soup?" and I don't know what to do to help. I don't even really know what soup is, let alone how to get some or give it to her. I think in some way, my Mommy doesn't like to be alone when she is sick. She thinks she wants someone else around - someone who would go to the store and buy ginger ale, or put butter on her crackers, someone to scratch her head or bring her clean socks.

But what Mommy doesn't know is - she may think that is what she wants, but in reality - she is an all out grump when she is sick. The last thing she needs right now is someone to be in her face and asking her what she needs because she would snap him like a twig.

So it is good that Mommy just has me, that Mommy always has me. I don't mind the moaning, the groaning, the hacking and the sneezing. I don't mind the pile of snotty tissues on the floor. I don't mind that she barely wobbles outside to let me pee. I don't mind that she falls asleep when it is dinner time and I am forced to sneak food out of Zoey's bowl.

Someone else might. But not me. Never me.

I love you, Mommy.

WOOF!

My Goat Knows the Bowling Score - Hallelujah!

2007-03-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Well, Mommy said she survived the "fcat", whatever that is. Normally, I like cats. They usually come with some interesting smells, and if you sniff them up close, their fur gets all fluffy and they make this funny hissing sound. But this fcat sounds like the kind of cat that would take a swipe at your nose with its sharp and pointy claws. Must be related to Zoey.

Mommy also went on a date yesterday. Now, you know how I feel about my mommy going on these "dates" - gallivanting off to see him random guy and abandoning her one true love (i.e. ME) at home on a Saturday night. Actually, she met this dude in the afternoon. I don't think she was that impressed - she came home and said, "Don't worry buddy, this one ain't a keeper." Now, if you examine my past - I was once a mere pup, dropped off at a shelter on hot summer day, forced to fiercely wag my tail at every human that came through the door in the hopes they would fall in love with the oh-so-lovable-me that they would bypass all the other dogs and yell out "I'll take him!" - you'd think I'd feel some sympathy for this guy she so quickly rejected. HA! Mommy picked me because she is picky. In guys, she doesn't always have the best taste but in dogs, well, I may be biased but let's face it. So when she rejects some guy after one date, I only applaud her efforts to remain single until someone worth sniffing comes around.

On a positive note, Mommy was more disappointed that her date being a dud would give her little to write about, as opposed to the date being such a dud that she didn't want the guy to call again. In other non-dating news, Mommy has joined a beach volleyball team! It is her and her new friends Fay, Steph and Breanna. They will have make a team with two other guys (grr..why can't it be girls only?) and play some other teams. Granted, Mommy has never been much for team sports or athleticism as a whole, but she figures it will be a fun way to meet new people and try something new.

Not to sound like an ordinary doggy blogger - but the weather here is beautiful! Sixty-five degrees and sunny...this is how I like my days. A cool breeze, some fresh grass, a nice poop - life is good, my friends. Life is good.

Woof! I'm out.

the haps in jax

2007-02-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

Look, you can get mad at me for not updating in awhile, but in people years, I'm approximately eighty-four years old. Eighty-four-year-old old guys don't always have the best memory, so cut this pup some slack.

A lot has happened since I last updated, obviously, because it has been about four months! Here are the highlights:

NO BOYS! Mommy is taking a break from dating, which I for one applaud. There isn't enough room in her life for another guy besides me. I'm her numero uno, one and only, true love of her life and we aren't looking for any other applicants. She's had offers and turned them down, which makes this tail wag in glee.
NO MORE MULTIPLE NIGHTS WITH THE GILMORES! Ok, so yes, Gilmore dvds are a constant in our household, but recently, Mommy has made some new friends and is finding it difficult to find time for the Gilmores. She went on a website called meetup.com (at first I thought there would be steak involved, but sadly, I was mistaken). She made some great new friends and started a book club. Go MOMMY!
NO SUNDAY SLEEP-INS! Mommy joined a church in Jacksonville! She was very happy to do this, it will help strengthen her friendship with that Jesus dude. She joined a great church in Jacksonville Beach called Big Baptist Beach Church. HAHAHA, just kidding, like Mommy could be Baptist. No, her new church family worships at Palms Presbyterian . Mommy says everyone there is super nice and friendly - they always comment on how nice it is to see a "young face" in the pews! She's not that young anymore though, because...
NO MORE EARLY TWENTIES! Mommy turned 25 in November. She accordingly had a quarter-life crisis meltdown - bought a minivan, hired an elderly escort, got the soccer mom shag - you get the picture. Ohhh I kid, I kid. Mommy had a great birthday weekend with all her friends and Aunt Janine. Grandpa Steve came up for the Jaguars v. Giants game - and they ran into my ex-daddy Josh on the bus!! Mommy said that he looked scared to see her and with reason, but she just flashed him a fabulous smile and thanked God for the fabulous gift of knowing that she is so much better off without him in our lives! Aren't birthdays fabulous? My next one is in June, if you wanted to know, for planning purposes. (I am registered at milkbone.com)

That's really all that has been going on in my life for the past few months. Mommy gave me a bit of sad news the other day - Uncle Jeff is moving to Korea. She says we have to accept that fact that he isn't going to tell us goodbye. She says she can't find the right words to say goodbye to him, and if she could find them, she doesn't know if he'd even listen. It doesn't mean that we didn't mean anything to him, or him anything to us, it just means that people change. She supposes that he tried to care about us the best way he knew how, and even though he ended up hurting us more than we thought possible, we should still try to remember the happy times we had with him. If we never see him again, she says it will be okay because we have a picture of him in our hearts, smiling and drinking pickle juice. Mommy says that is an inside joke - but I think it must be a sick joke. I, for one, prefer water from the toilet.

Well, Zoey says I've been on the computer for too long. She is so impatient. She's been watching an ebay auction of 14lbs of catnip, and she says if I don't get offline right now she will claw my eyes out. And I believe her, so goodnight!

WOOF!

She left me...again

2006-11-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting at home by myself today. My mommy left me to go to Montreat. She says that she goes there because God has called her to create a fun place for middle school kids, but quite frankly, I need her to be home with me! I don't understand why I can't go to this Montreat place. I'm a good dog. I like North Carolina...I think. I mean, I haven't ever been there but how bad could it be? Grass to poop on is all I really need.

I haven't seen Uncle Jeff in awhile. I think he did something bad to my mommy, she has seemed disappointed recently. I won't speculate. This is the internet, after all.

I will continue to mope, and wait. Wait for my mommy to come back to me.

WOOF.

I don't feel so good...

2006-09-02T06:13:00.000-07:00

Well, August was a very interesting month for me! First of all, Mommy went back to work. That was no good, because it means I'm cooped up all day with Zoey. Zoey's new thing is to stalk the lizards on the other side of the window. Sometimes she gets so excited about it, she smashed herself into the glass trying to catch them. It wakes me up from my eight hour nap, stupid cat.

This has been a hard month for me. I haven't been feeling like myself. I know that I'm an old man, or at least Mommy always calls me her "lil' ole man", but lately I've just felt crabby and cranky. I mope a lot. Mommy yells, "Stop that, Mopey McMoperson!" at me, but I just have felt a lot of pain in my back legs and my tail lately. The other day it got so bad that I couldn't even stand up! I was very scared. I cried all night long. I had trouble catching my breath. Mommy was holding me all night saying, "Please don't die Puckerboo, don't you die on me." GEEZ SHE IS SO DRAMATIC!! I mean, I didn't feel good but I didn't feel like the good lord was calling me up or anything.

So the next morning she rushed me to the vet. I love the vet. He lets me roam around his office and sniff all the other pups in their cages. He says that because I just lay around I don't have to be put up. They put me through an "xray" machine that took a picture of my bones! I was such a good boy that they didn't even have to give me sleepy-time medicines to do it. Then Mommy came back to get me and looked at the pictures. She told me that I have "hip dis-play-sha" and "arth-right-is" in both my legs and spine. That's how come I hurt so much lately. But the doctor gave me meds (I heard Mommy ask him about Doggy medicare; he laughed) and I feel so much better. Today I might even get to go to the groomer!!

The other thing that has happened in August is that my Mommy seems to be kissing Uncle Jeff alot. She said that I have to stop calling him that because he's not technically related to me, but I don't think it matters much. Now if I saw her kissing Uncle Jeremy or Aunt Janine....EW! Even I know better, and I sniff butts! I don't know where this kissing will go but there seems to be a lot of it. I guess that time will tell. As long as she keeps giving me the cookies I can be okay with this. I know Uncle Jeff and he's not a no-good, cheating, cold-dead beating, two-time-double-dealing, mean mistreating ... guy.

Well, Mommy is finally going to wake up and take me for a WALK! She is so lazy sometimes.

WOOF!

I'm Sorry (so sorry)

2006-07-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I didn't do a very good job of keeping you updated. And I'm sorry. But really, what's a doggy to do when his beloved master of a mommy leaves him for nearly three weeks to shed alone at her parents boring house? Hmm?

Needless to say, Mommy is back from Montreat and I again have internet access. Here are some great things about Mommy's return:

Her MOOD! She has been so happy for numerous reasons. Obviously, she couldn't stand being away from me for so long, for one. Occassionally, we break into song...REUNITED and IT FEELS SO GOOD!! Another reason - dare I say it - she reunited with her old friend THE LORD. Not that they've necessarily been apart for long, but Montreat is a place where Mommy can celebrate, worship, and praise God day in and day out and not get funny looks for it. Mommy was also fairly happy to come home to Jacksonville. She kept saying, "Oh, I missed you little house" and "Oh, I missed you funky smell of Intracoastal Low Tide." Even Zoey got an "I missed you, my evil one."
Her MONEY! She has none. She spent it all at Auntie Hilary's house and on silly shirts that say things like "Have you hugged a Presbyterian today?" So she doesn't leave the house for fear of raking up credit card debt. Which means she is home all day with me to scratch my belly and pick my fleas! HOORAY!!!
Her MAJESTY! At least, that's what I call Mommy now that she's back. Don't get me wrong, I love my Gpa Steve and Gma Sally, but they just don't love me like my mama. I missed her so much when she was away - some nights I whined myself to sleep! When Mommy came home it was like magic.

Mommy told me all about her trip. She made lots of new friends and is still thinking about going to work for the church. We don't know if she'll do it yet, but we'll see. I might like Virginia. I might like snow. But I like the beach, too. We'll see.

I'm a sleepy pup, and I must venture off to dreamland. But I'm already in Heaven, sleeping on the end of my Mommy's bed, curled up on her comforter and watching her dream.

Uh-oh

2006-06-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

Mommy is ADDICTED to myspace. Its sad, really. I hope she gets help.

In other news, here is a link to Mommy's favorite place on earth!!

woof.

Myspace Schmyspace

2006-06-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems all a buzz about this thing called Myspace.com. I understand the appeal - but I guess I'm just an old fashioned blogging doggy at heart.

A lot has been going on in the Layendecker household. We finally got everything unpacked; what a relief! I was tired of sleeping with boxes. One bad thing that happened was Mommy's car was broken in to and someone stole her computer from work. We'll end up paying out the nose for that one - it figures that Mommy had an appointment with the insurance people two days from the day of the robbery. Well, at least they didn't steal the car or break the window. Sneaky criminals and their handy locksmith training. Yeah, I think what I'm trying to say is "BASTARDS!!", but you probably knew that.

Mommy went on a trip to Hilton Head Island to see her grandpa. I hear he is a nice guy but I wouldn't know, because I didn't get to go. You see, Cousin Ginger got to go, but I had to stay at the Dr's office because Mommy didn't think I was up to a long trip. Well, let me tell you, I like my Dr, but I don't want to stay there that long ever again. In fact, Mommy has to take me back there tomorrow because I think I have a bladder infection. Again, the word is "BASTARDS!!"

Mommy is also busy making plans for her trip to North Carolina in July. She always comes back from Montreat in a great mood, so its good she'll be gone for so long. She'll be gone from July 7-23 and come back just in time to see Auntie Kat off on her African safari. Again, I don't get to go to NC, but I DO get to go stay with my Grandpa Steve. I like it there; that's the house that mommy and I grew up in. It should be fun for everyone - even you, Granpa Steve!!

People keep asking me about Mommy's love life, and I'm here to report that its nobody's business. Who's crazy enough to put that stuff on the internet in the first place!! (Geez, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry, Mommy??)

Well, I'll try to do a better job of keeping you guys updated on my fabulous canine life. WOOF WOOF!!

Hmm...

2006-06-05T14:59:00.001-07:00

Hey - how come nobody leaves me any comments on my blog? Does anybody read and enjoy the daily musings of a smelly old mutt like me?

WOW! WE DID IT!!

2006-06-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, thank goodness that's over!

Moving is such a stressful thing to do. It took us about five days of packing and cleaning, packing and cleaning, packing and cleaning but we FINALLY are settled in our new little happy home. I am such a happy, hairy mongrel to be in the new house that I can't stop the wagging.

Here are some cool things that I dig about our new pad:

THE FIRST FLOOR! No more stairs for my arthritic legs. Plus, I can watch out the window as Mommy comes and goes. This makes me feel much better. I used to think that she was standing on the other side of the door, playing some cruel joke on me by not taking me with her. But now when I see her climb into her unairconditioned car in the 90 degree Florida heat, I just laugh at her and relax in my ACed abode.
THE WINDOWS! We have lots of window on all the walls, and I love to spy on the neighbors through these window. Also, Zoey loves to watch the lizards and squirrels that frolick safely on the other side of the glass. It distracts her from her evil plot to take over the world.
THE NEIGHBORS! They are very nice, inviting us to BBQs and smiling. The kids all want to pet me. PLUS - they are no cranky old ladies around to complain that I bark too much. IN YOUR FACE, GRUMPY OLD HAG!!
THE TILE! We've got ceramic tile in the kitchen and "foyer" (ok its like a 2x2 entryway but still) and I love to plop my fat belly down on its natural coolness and take a nice, long nap. Being me is a hard job!!
THE BIG BATHROOM TUB! Mommy said that its too nice of a tub to make me take a bath in it, and I couldn't be happier about that. Back to the groomer's for this pup.
THE PAINT! Mommy painted her bedroom a cheerful shade of green. It makes me think of grass, which makes me think of peeing, so on second thought, I don't really like that paint afterall.
THE SMILE ON MY MOMMY'S FACE! I love to see her look so happy to come home every day, and to dance around to songs like "Independent Women" (hello, Destiny's Child flashback) in her underwear (I guess she's not picked up on the whole "multiple windows" thing). I love to see my mama so happy.

So, we've still got some boxes to unpack, and a washer and dryer to sell, but we're happy and healthy and hoping you'll come visit.

WOOF!!

Wowzers

2006-05-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

Oh Boy! Two days til closing!! We're getting so excited!!

Hmm, in some not so exciting news, Mommy was very sad last night. She came home from work very upset because her students' FCAT scores came in and were not that great. She felt like she failed the kids, or didn't give them enough help, or just plain let them down. So many of them were crying and looking to her for answers and she just didn't know what to tell them. It really made her sad to see kids go down a level. She said it also slightly embarrasses her in front of her peers. The administration always builds her up to be some great person that she feels she can't live up to. Maybe she just lacks the self-confidence sometimes. I believe in Mommy though, and she shouldn't doubt herself.

In other news, tonight Auntie Kat is coming over to help Mommy pack. No more slacking!

I can't wait to see my new house. If you can't wait either, look here.

WOOF!

You'd never know that...

2006-05-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Mommy - Ever wonder what we do while you're at work? Well -- we sleep! Here's the proof.

Are you jealous now?

Don't Zoey's markings look so pretty in the light? She looks like marble. Only don't tell her I said so.

Speaking of Zoey...here's a good shot of her,

looking evil.

Well, I must get going. Many things to sniff.

WOOF!

Are we there yet?

2006-05-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Wow. Mommy is only four days away from closing. She's nervous, overwhelmed, and really excited! Today she needs to start packing, though, because the house is still a wreck! She had to go to Ocala yesterday, so I can understand why she didn't get much done. But Saturday all she did was nap and hang out at the beach with Uncle Jeff! That slacker!!

Hmm...well, Zoey and I are trying to prepare ourselves for the move. Zoey is tearing up the carpet as much as possible because she knows it won't be allowed at the new house. I am trying my best to leave as much of my hair behind as doggily possible. Mommy is going to become vacuum nazi at the new house. I can just sniff it.

I don't have much to pack, and what I do have, Mommy will pack for me. I just need to make sure my cookies don't get lost in the move. Mommy will probably slack off and not buy me a new box for a whole month!

Speaking of months, Mommy told me yesterday that she would probably be gone for most of the month in July. I'm going to be sent to Grandpa Steve's. I like it there, and everyone is very nice, but I know it is going to be so hard to be away from Mommy. She is my everything and without her my tail just isn't worth wagging.

Oh well. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'll try to think of something happy instead.

mmm...cookies

I'm too sexy for this blog...

2006-05-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

April Showers Bring More Fleas...

2006-04-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Whew, what a trip it was! I had so much fun at Grandpa Steve and Grandma Sally's. Mommy and I arrived around four p.m. on Friday. Right away Mommy gave me a bath. I really needed one! The fleas have been attacking me. Mommy also put some expensive flea medicine on me. She's having a fit because it seemed to lessen the number of fleas, but didn't make them all go away. Even the bath didn't seem to help to much except make me less smelly. But I still like Mommy giving me the bath better than the groomer. Don't get me wrong, my groomer is very nice, but I always prefer Mommy.

On Friday night Mommy went out with Auntie Janine. They had dinner and then went out with an old friend of Auntie Janine's. I stayed home with Cousin Ginger. I ate her dinner when no one was looking. HA! Mommy came home super happy because she saw one of her friends from high school that she hadn't seen in a long time. Mommy misses her friend Jessica!

On Saturday Mommy left for awhile to hang out with her friend Jenni. I always liked Jenni. Them Mommy came home and ate dinner with the family. Then she and Auntie Janine dyed some Easter eggs. I saw Cousin Ginger looking at those eggs but I didn't think anything of it at the time.

The next morning Mommy's neice and nephew, Sadie and Darren, came over to hunt for eggs. Mommy and Auntie Janine had hidden them earlier that day. Well, all of a sudden Aunt Janine rushes into the house yelling at Cousin Ginger, who had snuck into the backyard. Turns out - Ginger was going behind Mommy and Auntie Janine and eating all the eggs they hid in the bushes! Now, as an old pup, I know much better. First of all, those eggs are bound to give anybody a stomach ache. And secondly, they weren't for Ginger - they were for little kids!! Lastly, that's just plain sneaky behavior. (If only she had let me in on it!!)

Well, Monday came and Mommy and I headed home. I love the drive home with Mommy. Every time she sees the St. Johns she says, "Look Buddy! The river! We're almost home!!"
It is nice to have a place to call home. When we got there, Zoey was so excited! She came running up to the door and kissing Mommy's feet with her scratchy cat tongue.

After being home for a bit, Mommy wanted to spray for fleas and vacuum the floor. She had to put me out on the porch, which is fine by me, but Zoey got really scared. I don't know why she was so scared but she peed all over herself! Mommy was so sad for Zoey, she picked her up and rushed her inside and wrapped her up in a towel. I don't think Zoey liked that, because she was screaming. Mommy didn't know what to do, so she put Zoey inside her kitty carrier and covered it with a towel. Thankfully, that worked. Zoey stopped howling and Mommy finally got to vacuum. Mommy felt so bad for making Zoey pee herself that she gave her a can of tuna which she only does on holidays.

Lucky cat. I know better than to pee myself and I never get anything!

Oh well. Mommy closes on her condo May 26th! Paws crossed!! I'll have to write more later. My manly areas need some sniffing.

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!

2006-04-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

We. Are. Going. To. Woof. See. Grandpa. Steve. This. Weekend. Oh. Boy. I. Am. So. Excited. Woof! I. Have. To. Go. Pack.

for fun

2006-04-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

This is Mommy(left) and Auntie Kristin at the school where they work. This was a track meet from last week, where Mommy sold tickets and Kristin cheered on the students. Uncle Jeff is a track coach. GO SENATORS!

Closing = Stress!

2006-04-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Dog oh Dog, was Mommy ever stressed out last night. She had gotten a million phone calls from people thinking that she was supposed to close on her condo YESTERDAY! Even though she called people to straighten it out, I guess there were more people involved who didn't get the message. Mommy doesn't understand why they can't communicate to each other if they are working in the SAME OFFICE!

She came home and plopped on the couch. She was too tired to move. She looked at me and said, "My baby, I hate money." Then she explained that the people who approved her loan had all of her information screwed up and she'll need to show that she has more money than she has. How you do that - I don't know. I know if I have a certain amount of doggy biscuits I can't magically make more appear. Mommy said it just means a lot of scrimping and saving between now and then, so I don't know if I'll be going to the groomer anytime soon.

In other news, Mommy says she's getting an "additional" job next year that will help us pay the bills! She will be involved with the sports program next year but she won't coach anything. She'll be a liason between the coaches and the downtown office, providing them with all the paperwork and information that they need. It is supposed to be hectic but worth the money. Hopefully it means she won't have to sell a bunch of tickets to sports game just to make ends meet.

Auntie Nini came to stay with us last weekend. She brought Cousin Ginger. I like having Ginger on my turf. It helped me with the "separation" of Mommy being gone. Also, Auntie Nini is very nice to me and picks the fleas off my belly. The only thing I didn't like was the way Ginger jumped up on Mommy's couches when she thought no one was looking. Those couches are brand new! When Zoey tries to attack them with her claws I try to stop her. But I couldn't budge Gingy off those couches. Grr.... if I'm not allowed on them no doggy is.

That's all the news that is news. Oh gosh, where did I get that saying? I think it was my ex-daddy Josh who used to say it. So I'll close this with - that's all the news you get, suckers! PTFO! That's PKMF style. It suits me.

WOOF!

I said, "Who runs this motha?"

2006-03-31T10:43:00.000-08:00

Today Mommy said, "Steve? Steve WHO?"

I was glad to hear it.

Mommy has been talking about volunteering at the local humane society. I have mixed emotions about this. On one paw, I think it is a good idea. I used to live at a shelter when I was a little bitty puppy, and I remember the volunteers were very sweet to me. I like the idea of mommy being sweet to other puppies. On the other paw, I don't like the idea of mommy being sweet to other puppies. She's MY mommy - why does she have to go play with other doggies in her spare time? On another paw (remember, I have four), I'd hate to see mommy sit around and mope all summer long. She needs something to do! And if she's out helping other animals, they will find happy homes to live in, just like I did. But on the last paw, I still prefer mommy to be with me.

You see? Mixed emotions.

Woof!

exit Steve, stage left

2006-03-30T07:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it ended last night. Steve told mommy that he thinks they would make better friends. She was angry and upset. I can't blame her. She thought this was going someplace serious. They had talks about their relationship. He talked about taking her away for the weekend. But then last night he told her their was no chemistry, no spark, no magnetism between them.

Mommy looked like she wanted to cry. I ran and hid in the bedroom.

I heard him tell her he was sorry, and that he still wanted to be her friend. Mommy stood her ground and didn't let a tear drop fall. She told him that he shouldn't of let it go as far as it did, and that he should have told her this last week when he realized it. He shouldn't of tried to force himself to do something if he didn't want to do it. She said she appreciated his honesty, but she had enough friends, and she didn't need a new one.

Then she told him to leave.

And he did.

When he left, she cried. I tried to comfort her as best as I can, but sometimes its best just for Mommy to let it all out.

I have faith, though. Today she smiled at me, told me she was sorry, and that things were only going to get better.

I hope she's right.

And the award for biggest slacker goes to...

2006-03-28T07:54:00.000-08:00

Well, Mommy was on Spring Break last week. She's so lazy. She didn't do her laundry until the last minute. That slacker!

Steve finally did call Mommy that night. Turns out he got in real late on Thursday, and wanted to wait until she got off work on Friday to call. They went out and had a good time. Mommy spent the night over there. That's all I have to say about that.

When Mommy got home she sat me down to have a "talk". She told me that she and Steve had had a "talk" and they decided they aren't going to see anybody but each other. She said it was very important for her to discuss this with him, and she wanted me to know that I would be seeing a lot more of him. I'm ok with it. I like him enough. He laughs a lot, which make Mommy happy. He came over one night last week and they cooked dinner together. Mommy had such a good time. They were just hanging out in the kitchen cooking up a storm. Steve is really easy going - no criticizing, no critiquqing, just fun.

We dig it.

Mommy also took me on a trip that week! We went to visit Auntie Janine and Cousin Ginger. Mommy had some stuff to bring Aunt Nini for her apartment and she wanted to help Auntie Nini feel better. She had a bad, bad stomach virus. Mommy knows what its like to feel all sick and not have anyone around to help you. And boy did Auntie Nini need help! Mommy said she looked like death warmed over and I had to agree. We didn't stay very long, but I liked seeing Ginger. She's my best canine friend.

Now Mommy is back in the swing of things - going to work. Last night she had a dinner date with Steve. She's a little stressed about this condo business...she doesn't know what she's doing!! Its all a process you have to learn as you go. She keeps having dreams about how she will decorate, then she comes to her senses and realizes that she doesn't have any money to decorate with! Oh well, that's what housewarming parties are for!!

I need to get back to napping now. Woof.

Sheesh

2006-03-17T06:07:00.000-08:00

I know Mommy is at work, I know she's not here talking to me, but I know what she's thinking.

Right now she's sitting at her desk. She's on the computer. She decides to check match.com, and she probably noticed that Steve has signed on to his account in the past 24 hours. Now, does Mommy get excited that he's home, or does she get upset that he didn't call her? It all depends on what time he got home yesterday. He said that they would do something tonight, so Mommy turned down all the other offers made to her to go out tonight.

I hope for Steve's sake that he calls, because Mommy made plans for Saturday.

Speaking of Mommy's Saturday plans, you'll never believe who is coming to visit. Since I know you'll never guess I'll just tell you. Its Jonah. Mommy's old, old, old boyfriend. I was just a young pup when I first met him. Needless to say I wasn't impressed with him. I used to pee on his feet all the time, hoping it would deter him from coming over to see my Mommy. But alas, even doggy urine can't keep men away from her. I'll be interested to see if he's changed at all. Mommy enjoys talking to him on the phone every now and then, she always laughs up a storm.

I hope she has fun but only in the friendship way. I tried to tell Mommy that when she was vacuuming last night, and I think she understood. She just rolled her eyes and told me to go lay down.

So, the question of the day today is, "Where's Steve?".

so fresh and so clean

2006-03-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Well, Mommy finally gave me a bath last night. It was about time, I can't remember the last time I went to the groomer. I was staring to stink so bad that even I didn't want to be around my smelly self. Steve said something about it the other night. Mommy told him his hair smelled nice (I bet money he uses a girly shampoo) and he said, "You're just used to smelling Puck".

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??

Now, I know I'm a smelly mutt. In fact, I think that being a dog sort of entitles you to a certain amount of stink. But let's get serious here. I'm the only man in Mommy's life at this point, and I don't appreciate him just busting out with the insults. Ok, maybe I'm being a little bit sensitive, but I don't like anyone but Mommy pointing my stankness out to me.

I guess its irregardless now, because I'm clean...but the bathroom floor is another story.

APPROVED!

2006-03-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

Mommy was so happy last night. She was dancing around in a happy crazy-woman's jig. She got the good news that her loan application was approved and she has financing for her house! She feels more relaxed now that one big obstacle is overcome. Her realtor said, "Now you can start celebrating!" but Mommy still says, "No way, not until I've got the keys in hand."

In other Mommy news, she has been seeing a lot of Steve lately. This past Saturday they went to St. Augustine. Then they went to his house (I'm assuming, because Mommy's jeans smelled different) to watch a movie. I think they were kissing in the car for a long time...ok, I know they were, I was syping on them. Again. I can't help it.

I think Mommy is confused about how she feels about Steve. She really likes him, but she doesn't know if the spark is there or not. But she's decided to give it time and see how things develop. One interesting thing is that he is RELATED to good friends of ours from Ocala - The Aschlimans. It makes him even more attractive to Mommy because she has always thought of the Aschlimans as good people.

So, a lot is going on for Mommy! A new house, a new friend, a new year! She thinks 2006 may be the year of the LINDS.

WOOF!

ps--next week is Mommy's Spring Break! She'll be HOME!!

uh-oh

2006-03-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

Mommy thinks dating is stressful.

She doesn't like this whole "who's supposed to call whom game". She doesn't want to come on too strong but she wants to make things happen for herself. She hates waiting. She's so impatient. She wants someone to tell her, "I like you, I think you're fun, this is what I'm thinking..." but she doesn't know what she's thinking.

She's putting too much emphasis on this.

I don't know if Steve will last. Part of me hopes he does. Part of me doesn't. I like having Mommy to myself, but I'd like her to have some company, too. Being alone for too long isn't good for Mommy. We both know how bad it can get. Mommy feels the same I think...she likes the pattern she's in, she's got her own routine. But that doesn't mean that something new can't be added to it. Poor mommy, she's got too much on her mind.

Tonight she's abandoning me yet again to eat dinner with Auntie Kat and Auntie Kristin. She keeps talking about some project having to do with planes (runway something or other). I hope she has fun, seeing as how I'll be home alone crying my eyes out because she's gone.

I feel like crying now. Woof.

enter Steve, stage right

2006-03-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

So, I met this guy who took my mommy out. I don't know what I think. He came to pick her up on Saturday, and then on Sunday he came over and hung out with her for a little bit. He was nice, but he didn't really seem to want to pet me. I was doing all my tricks, rolling around on the floor, showing my hairy belly, reaching out my paw for him to shake - and NOTHING! Maybe he needs some time to warm-up to me. I think I'll give him another chance.

My mommy seems to have given him a chance. I peeked through the blinds and some them kissing in his car last night. I guess my approval doesn't mean that much to her anymore.

Mommy was also very stressed about trying to find financing for her condo this weekend. She talked it through with her realtor, though, and things are looking up. It looks like her deposit is going to cover the closing costs, which means Mommy won't have to pay that much to move in. She says she's not going to relax about it until she signs on the dotted line and is handed the keys, but I hope she doesn't overstress until then.

I wish Mommy would hurry home. Zoey is stinking up her litter box and I can't take it much longer!!

I love it when she smiles...

2006-03-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, Mommy was in the BEST MOOD this week. She had an amazing day on Wednesday. Now, I was a little bit upset on that day, because she didn't get home until about six. She rushed in the door, threw the leash on me and dragged me down the steps. She kept telling me to hurry when I was looking for a good dumping location, and then she dragged me back up the steps again. I barely got to say hello or how was your day before she jumped in the shower and locked me out of the bathroom. As I lay my head against the door, I could hear her singing in the bathtub. It went something like this...

"Movin on up!
To the east side...
To a dee-lux condo
in the sky-aye-aye..."

Then she got out of the shower and blow-dried her hair. She put on some pretty clothes and left me AGAIN!! But before she left me she kissed me on the head and said, "I think this is it Buddy. We're gonna be ok from now on."

When she finally came home around eleven o'clock, I was FURIOUS! I mean, we barely got to spend five minutes together and for two of those minutes - I was pooping!! I think Mommy needs to watch my fiber intake. Anyway, she walked in with a huge smile on her face. She flopped down on the floor next to me and rolled me over to scratch my belly. She must have known I was so mad. She even pushed Zoey (who had come over to cry about not having any food in her dish) away so we could cuddle up together. Then she told me everything that happened to her that day.

First, after school she couldn't come let me out because she went to look at another "condo". She found one that she really liked and put money down on it. She signed a lot of papers that scared her, and she didn't tell me right away because she didn't want me to worry. She also had a date! Normally, I get a little jealous of the men in her life, but I listened patiently to all the details. When she goes on these dates (maybe once a month), she never comes home too excited. But this time she was happy. She said his name is Steve.

"Like Grandpa Steve?" I asked.
"Well, he's nice like Grandpa Steve," she said, "but this is very different."
"Oh, I see. Go on. Woof."

She said they met online, through a match.com website. (Hey, I wonder if they make those for big doggs like me!) They went out to dinner and then the conversation was going so well that they went across the street for a drink! She said they had a lot in common, and that he was very easy-going. And cute. They made plans to go out again this Saturday. He is coming to pick her up and I hope I get to meet him. I will have to sniff him out and give Mommy my full opinion. If I smell loser I'm going to LET HER KNOW!

Well, it looks like I'm moving to a new house (paws crossed for good luck) and that my mommy, at the very least, has a new friend who she will be spending time with now. I am happy for mommy but I can't help but be a little sad. I love her so much, and she's not around a lot. I hope this new house will be so nice that she'll never want to leave!!

what is a condo?

2006-02-27T11:38:00.000-08:00

Mommy went hunting!! Well, she said she went house-hunting. Not hunting like Dick Cheney or anything.

She went out with a nice woman named Tara who is what Mommy called a "real-it-or". I don't know what that means, but Mommy says she is helping us find a new place to live! Mommy wants to buy a "con-doe", but I don't know what that is either! Mommy says it is like an apartment only nicer and she will own it instead of renting it. Then no crabby old ladies will be able to bother us!! See, when Mommy talks, I listen.

I think I would like to live in a place like that. There wouldn't be any of mommy's students running around and trying to pet me when I'm pooping. Mommy could cruise around in her pj's and not have to worry about running into their parents! I think Mommy's money might be tight for a year or two put in the end she says she would earn "eck-kwit-tee" and that means we could buy something else.

I hope Mommy finds something she likes. She says this is a very scary but exciting process. She says that the lease on her new apartment ends in May, and I hope this is an early enough start. Luckily, she trusts this Tara person and says she feels comfortable dealing with her.

Mommy has realized lately how much she let Josh manipulate her! She is glad that she is single now and gets to make grown-up, responsible decisions ON HER OWN and doesn't have to deal with anyone else's demands. She says it is fun getting to do all this for the first time the way SHE wants it done. Although it is a little scary being totally responsible for all of this...she's glad she is.

I'm so proud of my mommy!

We ran out of cookies ...

2006-02-23T06:39:00.000-08:00

I'm so upset. We ran out of cookies on SATURDAY and mommy still hasn't gone to the store to get some more. Doesn't she know I LIVE for COOKIES??

Sometimes when I have to take medicine, mommy tries to fool me and tell me its a treat. I can see right through that. I know I never get peanut butter or cheese unless something icky comes with it. Everyday she calls me in the kitchen, "Puckers!! Come get a yum-yum!!" and so I go, wagging my tail just to amuse her. She takes one of my pills and dips it in peanut butter. Then she makes me sit and shake. That's a load of crap if you ask me. I'm not going to put up a fuss, I'm going to swallow the pill, why does she make me do tricks for it? Finally she gives it to me and I swallow it in one big gulp.

I don't like these pills, but mommy says they are necessary. They make me vvvveeeerrrrryyyyy sssssllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppyyyy. They are for my condition called "separation anxiety". You see, when mommy leaves me alone, it upsets me. That's one reason I started this blog - its a distraction. But I hate being alone. Sometimes I worry that she'll never come back to me. Sometimes I worry that I will wait and wait and wait and she'll never come home. When she is home, I try to be as good a puppy as possible so she'll never want to leave me. I know my mommy loves me, but this worrying is just something I can't help. I don't like to take the pills, but they make me sleepy and they make me calm, so I don't get bent out of shape when she's not around. Its what mommy calls a "necessary evil".

Speaking of evil, Zoey is itching to get on the computer. I think she goes to some male cat porn site. She's so weird.

Hurry home mommy. And bring some cookies!!

Abandoned and Alone

2006-02-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

Who does she think she is? Mommy left YET AGAIN last weekend. Doesn't she realize how lonely I get without her? Why does she abandon me so much? Was it something I barked?

Well, she was gone last Thursday until late Saturday night. I could tell she was leaving because she was up late Wednesday putting clothes into a big suitcase and she barely slept. She kept checking the clock. She left really early in the morning (too early for Puck dog!) and didn't come back for three whole days. I was so sad.

Well, I wasn't totally alone. My mommy didn't just up and leave without anyone to watch me - don't call Animal Services on her just yet. My mommy's friend Holly came over to hang out with me, which was nice. Holly is fun and all, but, like I've said, she's no mommy. Plus, she wouldn't spend the night with me. Sometimes I get scared. I act all tough by growling and bushing up my fur but secretly I'm shaking in my paws! There are weird noises at night. Zoey prowls around, too. She doesn't like it when mommy leaves, although she'll never tell you that. Without mommy around there is no one to turn on the sink, and Zoey loves to drink from the sink. Without mommy she's left with the toilet (ha ha).

Mommy did come back in a great mood, which was nice. She kept telling me all about this place called Montreat and how one day she'll take me there to see how pretty it is. I hope she does take me, although I don't want to go in one of those planes Mommy talks about. She always smells like 80 different smelly people when she gets off of one. ICK!

Now mommy is talking about us moving to Virginia. I don't know if this is a plan she will follow through with or what, but as long as Mommy and I are together, I am A-O-K.

Woof.

I Love Grandpa Steve

2006-02-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend was very hectic. My mommy took me to Grandpa Steve and Sally's house, where we used to live. I like it there. There is a whole room of cold tile for me to lay on. Also, Grandpa Steve spoils me with lots of cookies when mommy's not watching. I like to ride in the car. Mommy let me ride in the front seat, and I got to stick my head out the window for almost the whole trip. The only thing I don't like is how loud mommy sings along to the music. Sometimes she thinks no one can hear her, but she must forget how sensitive my ears are. WOOF!

My mommy was in a wedding. She had a fancy dress and everything. Her hair was kind of crazy but I guess she didn't go to a good groomer. I think my mommy had fun, but when she came home, she smelled like something I had never smelt before. Maybe I should say "someone" I never smelt before. She didn't come back to the house Saturday night. I don't know where she slept! All she said when I greeted her at the door was "Don't judge me. I'm your mother."

But I still love her.

ps--View Wedding photos here.

It was an accident...

2006-02-09T10:10:00.001-08:00

I got sick on the carpet last night. I couldn't help it. When mommy came in, she sniffed the air and then yelled, "PUCK!! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!". I knew she'd be mad so I was hiding in her room. When she found me, I wagged my tail as hard as I could and smiled my biggest doggy grin for her to see. I think it worked, because she kept yelling but then she told me she was sorry I felt sick and started to clean it up. I slept very close to her bed all night long to make sure she wasn't still mad.

I think we are going on a trip. Mommy has been packing the suitcase bit by bit...well, more like unpacking it from the last time she went out of town. Zoey has been sleeping in it when mommy's not watching. This time, however, I think I get to go, too. Mommy usually cleans the house when she's letting Uncle Jeff or Aunty Kat watch me. This house is messy! I like it messy, I don't feel bad about rolling around and shedding.

Well, I must go. My manly area needs some sniffing and licking.

i said brrr...its cold in here...

2006-02-06T07:43:00.000-08:00

My mommy is trying to save on the electric bill and won't turn on the heat. She also closes all the blinds during the day so I can't get warm. I think she closes the blinds to make me think its nightime so I'll sleep, but she doesn't realize I pretty much sleep all day regardless of the light outside. I could use some sun.

My mommy had a guest this weekend. It was her friend named Heather, my Auntie Heather. I love Auntie Heather because she thinks everything I do is funny. Roll around and groan a little but and she'll be cackling up a storm. She also is a little bit afraid of Zoey. Zoey told me that she used to live in a house with mommy and Auntie Heather and another lady named Aubreya. Aubreya had two cats who tried to sneak into Mommy's room and eat Zoey's food. Zoey came at them with her pattened feline frenzy attack moves and put a stop to that. She says she used to sleep on Auntie Heather's bed and swat AH's legs when she tried to sleep. Zoey is nuts.

I remember when Zoey went to live with my mommy in the place she called Gainesville. I was very jealous. I don't know what made Zoey so special that she got to go with mommy. They were gone for such a long time, too. Two human years but that's fourteen years to me! I was so miserable. I used to look out the window and watch for mommy. She would come home every month or two, but it was never enough. She never came home for good. But the day she packed up all her stuff and told me she was leaving she said, "I promise I'll come back for you one day. I won't leave you here forever." And then one day....she did!! She had moved to a new town called Jacksonville and said that I could come and live with her now. I don't know if she just had more room or more time but I didn't care, I just wanted to be near her. I love my Grandma Sally and Grandpa Steve but they're just not my mom. No one comes close to her.

My mommy always tells me that I'm the only man in her life who has never hurt her. I think she's being kind of silly but it's also kind of true. I see these guys, they come and go, and they don't take time to appreciate how much she cares about them. My mommy is so loyal to the people in her life...I don't think it is too much to ask that men treat her with decency and respect. Sometimes mommy doesn't have a nose like mine, to sniff out the losers! I'll have to start helping her with that.

Well, I need to go now because all this thinking and writing has made me sleepy. I'm going to see if Zoey will curl up and nap with me because its still pretty cold in here for a Florida pup like me. Hurry home mommy. I miss you.

is she home yet?

2006-02-03T13:05:00.000-08:00

Yaaaawwwnnn.

I am so sleepy. I think its about time for my mommy to get home. She has abandoned me once again. Every day is just the same...she wakes up, sits on my water dish for half and hour, gets in the people-washer, brushes her teeth, turns on that noisy hot-air-blower, and eats from the forbidden fridge. Then my favorite part - she takes me on a walk!

Lately my walks have been sub-par because she's been sleeping in. I've tried to wake her up with constant licking and scratching noises, but she only groans and slaps the buzzing clock. She's not her best in the morning. Most of the time when she won't wake, I coerce the cat into knocking something fragile off the kitchen counter or ripping up one of the bills that mommy left laying on the counter. Zoey, the cat, will do it but I have to pay a price. Usually I have to let her lay in the sunny spot in mommy's room or let her sharpen her claws on my tail. But its worth it if it gets mommy out of bed. Then we go around the block, instead of the old poop and run routine.

It was raining this morning when mommy and I went out. She kept saying that I needed to hurry because the rain wasn't good for her hair. She's so fussy sometimes. If only people knew that she walked around in her ratty sweatpants with her hair up in an oily poinytail and a nappy red headband. My mommy is always beautiful to me but even I know that's not a great image.

I wish mommy would hurry home. I feel the need to pee. Mommy was upset last night because she was talking on the phone to that loser, my ex-daddy Josh. Mommy used to make me call him Daddy but I hated it. Josh and I had fun for awhile but I knew deep down he wasn't right for my mommy. He didn't treat her the way she needs to be treated. Oh, he did the flowers and the cards and the calls to say I love you. But it was the bigger picture, it was the respect and the honesty that he forgot about. Those things mean more to my mommy than a voicemail to say I love you, and that's why she and I are such a happy duo. We are both creatures of loyalty and nothing will come between us. Especially a loser who didn't want me in the first place!! Grrr...

Now I'm not an aggressive dog but I don't like when people mistreat my mommy.

Oh, boohoo where is she? I love to talk and bark and I know I can't do that until she gets home. The grumpy old lady who lives near us says I am a nuisance. Well, grumpy old ladies are a nuisance to me, too.

I want a cookie. Is she home yet?