the haps in jax

Look, you can get mad at me for not updating in awhile, but in people years, I'm approximately eighty-four years old. Eighty-four-year-old old guys don't always have the best memory, so cut this pup some slack.

A lot has happened since I last updated, obviously, because it has been about four months! Here are the highlights:

• NO BOYS! Mommy is taking a break from dating, which I for one applaud. There isn't enough room in her life for another guy besides me. I'm her numero uno, one and only, true love of her life and we aren't looking for any other applicants. She's had offers and turned them down, which makes this tail wag in glee.
• NO MORE MULTIPLE NIGHTS WITH THE GILMORES! Ok, so yes, Gilmore dvds are a constant in our household, but recently, Mommy has made some new friends and is finding it difficult to find time for the Gilmores. She went on a website called meetup.com (at first I thought there would be steak involved, but sadly, I was mistaken). She made some great new friends and started a book club. Go MOMMY!
• NO SUNDAY SLEEP-INS! Mommy joined a church in Jacksonville! She was very happy to do this, it will help strengthen her friendship with that Jesus dude. She joined a great church in Jacksonville Beach called Big Baptist Beach Church. HAHAHA, just kidding, like Mommy could be Baptist. No, her new church family worships at Palms Presbyterian . Mommy says everyone there is super nice and friendly - they always comment on how nice it is to see a "young face" in the pews! She's not that young anymore though, because...
• NO MORE EARLY TWENTIES! Mommy turned 25 in November. She accordingly had a quarter-life crisis meltdown - bought a minivan, hired an elderly escort, got the soccer mom shag - you get the picture. Ohhh I kid, I kid. Mommy had a great birthday weekend with all her friends and Aunt Janine. Grandpa Steve came up for the Jaguars v. Giants game - and they ran into my ex-daddy Josh on the bus!! Mommy said that he looked scared to see her and with reason, but she just flashed him a fabulous smile and thanked God for the fabulous gift of knowing that she is so much better off without him in our lives! Aren't birthdays fabulous? My next one is in June, if you wanted to know, for planning purposes. (I am registered at milkbone.com)

That's really all that has been going on in my life for the past few months. Mommy gave me a bit of sad news the other day - Uncle Jeff is moving to Korea. She says we have to accept that fact that he isn't going to tell us goodbye. She says she can't find the right words to say goodbye to him, and if she could find them, she doesn't know if he'd even listen. It doesn't mean that we didn't mean anything to him, or him anything to us, it just means that people change. She supposes that he tried to care about us the best way he knew how, and even though he ended up hurting us more than we thought possible, we should still try to remember the happy times we had with him. If we never see him again, she says it will be okay because we have a picture of him in our hearts, smiling and drinking pickle juice. Mommy says that is an inside joke - but I think it must be a sick joke. I, for one, prefer water from the toilet.

Well, Zoey says I've been on the computer for too long. She is so impatient. She's been watching an ebay auction of 14lbs of catnip, and she says if I don't get offline right now she will claw my eyes out. And I believe her, so goodnight!

WOOF!