Just Pucking Perfect

Welcome to my world. I'm Puck, the world's most loveable mutt. I'm old, I'm smelly, and I'm my mommy's biggest fan. She's young, sexy, and obviously bored. Won't you read along as my life unfolds...my fabulous, fabulous life as a dog...

Monday, February 27, 2006

what is a condo?

Mommy went hunting!! Well, she said she went house-hunting. Not hunting like Dick Cheney or anything.

She went out with a nice woman named Tara who is what Mommy called a "real-it-or". I don't know what that means, but Mommy says she is helping us find a new place to live! Mommy wants to buy a "con-doe", but I don't know what that is either! Mommy says it is like an apartment only nicer and she will own it instead of renting it. Then no crabby old ladies will be able to bother us!! See, when Mommy talks, I listen.

I think I would like to live in a place like that. There wouldn't be any of mommy's students running around and trying to pet me when I'm pooping. Mommy could cruise around in her pj's and not have to worry about running into their parents! I think Mommy's money might be tight for a year or two put in the end she says she would earn "eck-kwit-tee" and that means we could buy something else.

I hope Mommy finds something she likes. She says this is a very scary but exciting process. She says that the lease on her new apartment ends in May, and I hope this is an early enough start. Luckily, she trusts this Tara person and says she feels comfortable dealing with her.

Mommy has realized lately how much she let Josh manipulate her! She is glad that she is single now and gets to make grown-up, responsible decisions ON HER OWN and doesn't have to deal with anyone else's demands. She says it is fun getting to do all this for the first time the way SHE wants it done. Although it is a little scary being totally responsible for all of this...she's glad she is.

I'm so proud of my mommy!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

We ran out of cookies ...

I'm so upset. We ran out of cookies on SATURDAY and mommy still hasn't gone to the store to get some more. Doesn't she know I LIVE for COOKIES??

Sometimes when I have to take medicine, mommy tries to fool me and tell me its a treat. I can see right through that. I know I never get peanut butter or cheese unless something icky comes with it. Everyday she calls me in the kitchen, "Puckers!! Come get a yum-yum!!" and so I go, wagging my tail just to amuse her. She takes one of my pills and dips it in peanut butter. Then she makes me sit and shake. That's a load of crap if you ask me. I'm not going to put up a fuss, I'm going to swallow the pill, why does she make me do tricks for it? Finally she gives it to me and I swallow it in one big gulp.

I don't like these pills, but mommy says they are necessary. They make me vvvveeeerrrrryyyyy sssssllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppyyyy. They are for my condition called "separation anxiety". You see, when mommy leaves me alone, it upsets me. That's one reason I started this blog - its a distraction. But I hate being alone. Sometimes I worry that she'll never come back to me. Sometimes I worry that I will wait and wait and wait and she'll never come home. When she is home, I try to be as good a puppy as possible so she'll never want to leave me. I know my mommy loves me, but this worrying is just something I can't help. I don't like to take the pills, but they make me sleepy and they make me calm, so I don't get bent out of shape when she's not around. Its what mommy calls a "necessary evil".

Speaking of evil, Zoey is itching to get on the computer. I think she goes to some male cat porn site. She's so weird.

Hurry home mommy. And bring some cookies!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Abandoned and Alone

Who does she think she is? Mommy left YET AGAIN last weekend. Doesn't she realize how lonely I get without her? Why does she abandon me so much? Was it something I barked?

Well, she was gone last Thursday until late Saturday night. I could tell she was leaving because she was up late Wednesday putting clothes into a big suitcase and she barely slept. She kept checking the clock. She left really early in the morning (too early for Puck dog!) and didn't come back for three whole days. I was so sad.

Well, I wasn't totally alone. My mommy didn't just up and leave without anyone to watch me - don't call Animal Services on her just yet. My mommy's friend Holly came over to hang out with me, which was nice. Holly is fun and all, but, like I've said, she's no mommy. Plus, she wouldn't spend the night with me. Sometimes I get scared. I act all tough by growling and bushing up my fur but secretly I'm shaking in my paws! There are weird noises at night. Zoey prowls around, too. She doesn't like it when mommy leaves, although she'll never tell you that. Without mommy around there is no one to turn on the sink, and Zoey loves to drink from the sink. Without mommy she's left with the toilet (ha ha).

Mommy did come back in a great mood, which was nice. She kept telling me all about this place called Montreat and how one day she'll take me there to see how pretty it is. I hope she does take me, although I don't want to go in one of those planes Mommy talks about. She always smells like 80 different smelly people when she gets off of one. ICK!

Now mommy is talking about us moving to Virginia. I don't know if this is a plan she will follow through with or what, but as long as Mommy and I are together, I am A-O-K.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I Love Grandpa Steve

Well, this weekend was very hectic. My mommy took me to Grandpa Steve and Sally's house, where we used to live. I like it there. There is a whole room of cold tile for me to lay on. Also, Grandpa Steve spoils me with lots of cookies when mommy's not watching. I like to ride in the car. Mommy let me ride in the front seat, and I got to stick my head out the window for almost the whole trip. The only thing I don't like is how loud mommy sings along to the music. Sometimes she thinks no one can hear her, but she must forget how sensitive my ears are. WOOF!

My mommy was in a wedding. She had a fancy dress and everything. Her hair was kind of crazy but I guess she didn't go to a good groomer. I think my mommy had fun, but when she came home, she smelled like something I had never smelt before. Maybe I should say "someone" I never smelt before. She didn't come back to the house Saturday night. I don't know where she slept! All she said when I greeted her at the door was "Don't judge me. I'm your mother."

But I still love her.

ps--View Wedding photos here.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

It was an accident...

I got sick on the carpet last night. I couldn't help it. When mommy came in, she sniffed the air and then yelled, "PUCK!! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!". I knew she'd be mad so I was hiding in her room. When she found me, I wagged my tail as hard as I could and smiled my biggest doggy grin for her to see. I think it worked, because she kept yelling but then she told me she was sorry I felt sick and started to clean it up. I slept very close to her bed all night long to make sure she wasn't still mad.

I think we are going on a trip. Mommy has been packing the suitcase bit by bit...well, more like unpacking it from the last time she went out of town. Zoey has been sleeping in it when mommy's not watching. This time, however, I think I get to go, too. Mommy usually cleans the house when she's letting Uncle Jeff or Aunty Kat watch me. This house is messy! I like it messy, I don't feel bad about rolling around and shedding.

Well, I must go. My manly area needs some sniffing and licking.

Monday, February 06, 2006

i said brrr...its cold in here...

My mommy is trying to save on the electric bill and won't turn on the heat. She also closes all the blinds during the day so I can't get warm. I think she closes the blinds to make me think its nightime so I'll sleep, but she doesn't realize I pretty much sleep all day regardless of the light outside. I could use some sun.

My mommy had a guest this weekend. It was her friend named Heather, my Auntie Heather. I love Auntie Heather because she thinks everything I do is funny. Roll around and groan a little but and she'll be cackling up a storm. She also is a little bit afraid of Zoey. Zoey told me that she used to live in a house with mommy and Auntie Heather and another lady named Aubreya. Aubreya had two cats who tried to sneak into Mommy's room and eat Zoey's food. Zoey came at them with her pattened feline frenzy attack moves and put a stop to that. She says she used to sleep on Auntie Heather's bed and swat AH's legs when she tried to sleep. Zoey is nuts.

I remember when Zoey went to live with my mommy in the place she called Gainesville. I was very jealous. I don't know what made Zoey so special that she got to go with mommy. They were gone for such a long time, too. Two human years but that's fourteen years to me! I was so miserable. I used to look out the window and watch for mommy. She would come home every month or two, but it was never enough. She never came home for good. But the day she packed up all her stuff and told me she was leaving she said, "I promise I'll come back for you one day. I won't leave you here forever." And then one day....she did!! She had moved to a new town called Jacksonville and said that I could come and live with her now. I don't know if she just had more room or more time but I didn't care, I just wanted to be near her. I love my Grandma Sally and Grandpa Steve but they're just not my mom. No one comes close to her.

My mommy always tells me that I'm the only man in her life who has never hurt her. I think she's being kind of silly but it's also kind of true. I see these guys, they come and go, and they don't take time to appreciate how much she cares about them. My mommy is so loyal to the people in her life...I don't think it is too much to ask that men treat her with decency and respect. Sometimes mommy doesn't have a nose like mine, to sniff out the losers! I'll have to start helping her with that.

Well, I need to go now because all this thinking and writing has made me sleepy. I'm going to see if Zoey will curl up and nap with me because its still pretty cold in here for a Florida pup like me. Hurry home mommy. I miss you.

Friday, February 03, 2006

is she home yet?


I am so sleepy. I think its about time for my mommy to get home. She has abandoned me once again. Every day is just the same...she wakes up, sits on my water dish for half and hour, gets in the people-washer, brushes her teeth, turns on that noisy hot-air-blower, and eats from the forbidden fridge. Then my favorite part - she takes me on a walk!

Lately my walks have been sub-par because she's been sleeping in. I've tried to wake her up with constant licking and scratching noises, but she only groans and slaps the buzzing clock. She's not her best in the morning. Most of the time when she won't wake, I coerce the cat into knocking something fragile off the kitchen counter or ripping up one of the bills that mommy left laying on the counter. Zoey, the cat, will do it but I have to pay a price. Usually I have to let her lay in the sunny spot in mommy's room or let her sharpen her claws on my tail. But its worth it if it gets mommy out of bed. Then we go around the block, instead of the old poop and run routine.

It was raining this morning when mommy and I went out. She kept saying that I needed to hurry because the rain wasn't good for her hair. She's so fussy sometimes. If only people knew that she walked around in her ratty sweatpants with her hair up in an oily poinytail and a nappy red headband. My mommy is always beautiful to me but even I know that's not a great image.

I wish mommy would hurry home. I feel the need to pee. Mommy was upset last night because she was talking on the phone to that loser, my ex-daddy Josh. Mommy used to make me call him Daddy but I hated it. Josh and I had fun for awhile but I knew deep down he wasn't right for my mommy. He didn't treat her the way she needs to be treated. Oh, he did the flowers and the cards and the calls to say I love you. But it was the bigger picture, it was the respect and the honesty that he forgot about. Those things mean more to my mommy than a voicemail to say I love you, and that's why she and I are such a happy duo. We are both creatures of loyalty and nothing will come between us. Especially a loser who didn't want me in the first place!! Grrr...

Now I'm not an aggressive dog but I don't like when people mistreat my mommy.

Oh, boohoo where is she? I love to talk and bark and I know I can't do that until she gets home. The grumpy old lady who lives near us says I am a nuisance. Well, grumpy old ladies are a nuisance to me, too.

I want a cookie. Is she home yet?